Saints Row : The Third Website Lets You Track Sex Toy Related Deaths

Saints Row The Third Screenshot

A typical day in Steelport...

When I woke up this morning, that headline was the very last thing that I expected to be writing today but thank you Saints Row : The Third for changing all that.

If you’ve played the game or read any of my coverage (read : here and here) of it, you’ll know that vulgarity is what Saints Row : The Third does best and its madcap antics are not for the faint-hearted or for those who don’t find fart jokes funny so THQ are keen to show off exactly how bizarre the in-game activities are with this fresh batch of in game stats. My particular favourite is the ridiculous amount of Steelport citizens who’ve been assassinated with the use of an “Inspirational Erotic Device”. Clearly I have a mature sense of humour…

Click ‘Read More’ for the full list of stats.

  • 2 million people have been bludgeoned to death by the purple Penetrator “d-bat” (also known as an IED (Inspirational Erotic Device) ). While the gun-hungry gamer is the most typical representation of our industry, this stat actually shows that the deadliest of weapons is actually a dildo-shaped bat.
  • 5.8 billion citizens of Steelport have met their demise at the hands of gamers around the globe while playing Saints Row: The Third. That’s 19 times the population of the United States, roughly 85 per cent of the population of the world
  • Players have spent a cumulative  two years in their birthday suits streaking the streets of Steelport
  • In Whored Mode, 44 million pimps, gimps and prostitutes have been dispatched, roughly twice the population of Texas
  • Finally, 650 hot dog mascots have been overcooked to death by players using a flamethrower

If you want to keep tabs on the madness, go to SaintsRow.com to check out the official stat-tracker (there’s also a nifty in-game map on the site which is updated with the stats in real time).

What’s the craziest thing you’ve done in Saints Row : The Third? – Leave a comment!