How was your Valentine’s Day? Did you have a wonderful evening spending time with your loved one, eating a myriad of clichéd heart-shaped foods, or was it an abysmal, depressing turn of events, that resulted in a lovesick mess of feelings?
Just imagine being able to trade in that terrible company to hang out with (or even romance) one of the video game characters of your dreams, in either a ‘best bro’ or a ‘future Mrs. Video Gamer’ sort of way…
Like an overbearing mother who cares too much about the company you keep (but ultimately means well!) I’ve put together a list of the top 5 video game characters who would have kept you in high spirits during Cupid’s own holiday.
1. Lara Croft (Tomb Raider)
Say what you want about her ever changing figure and that morphing bust that has been the topic of many a discussion, but body image aside, you can’t deny that Lara Croft would make for bloody good company. Not only would she have some excellent tales to tell you about her travels overseas and those many gunfights she’s been involved in but she’d recall all of the good stuff and save any tedious bits for her journal. After all, it’s taken us 14 games just to get to Lara’s origins.
Love Lara more than you love Nathan Drake? Vote in our poll in the sidebar.
2. The Shadow of Colossus Colossi
Of all the unpopular opinions to have, this could very well be the most unpopular I’ve ever had (though this Nathan Drake post, which I’ve since backtracked on, is a close second).
You see there are multiple reasons for the Colossi’s featuring on this list. Apart from being strong and constantly aware of your whereabouts as you attempt to attack their weak spots (it means they care!), they’ll never pick a fight with you and what’s more is that their bodies have specially designed holds for you to cling to so that you’ll never have to be apart. And if you need any more convincing, look at this sweet comic (via @ollymoss). See? It’s a match made in heaven.
3. Commander Shepard
Whether you’re male or female, inclined in whatever way, Commander Shepard can be whoever you want your ideal other half to be.
As commander of the SSV Normandy, Shepard, male or female, can be an honourable leader of a squad or a rebellious badass, with not a care in the world other than quite simply, killing aliens. Even better, Shep doesn’t discriminate, you can a blue alien, a masked germophobe or an overeager secretary and the Commander will love you all the same. (Though you’ll have to wait for him or her to save the world again in Mass Effect 3 first…)
4. Your Favourite FIFA Footballer
Not interested in men? Don’t sweat it – who said that Valentine’s Day love had to be of the romantic kind? Instead it could be a love of football.
If you weren’t lucky enough to share the day with your nearest and dearest, instead, provided you have the right connections, you could have spent the evening with a FIFA footballer of your choice – two bros (and yes, women can be bros too) enjoying a kickabout, discussing the pitfalls of the offside rule to take the edge off being single. However, seeing as you probably aren’t in contact with the Football Association’s finest, read up on FIFA Street, or the handheld footie outing, FIFA Football for PS Vita.
5. Elizabeth (Bioshock Infinite)
While her partner in revolution (and Bioshock Infinite protagonist), Booker DeWitt, is regarded by us at JSX as having one of the best examples of facial hair in video game character history, his charge, Elizabeth, would be brilliant Valentine’s Day company, no doubt about it.
As it’s a few months away, no one knows a great deal about Bioshock Infinite, but one thing we do know is that Elizabeth is able to use her ‘powers’ to open up rifts in time, transporting her and Booker to separate dimensions. We’ve seen her transport them to our universe where we saw a theatre showing an alternatively titled Star Wars film which is proof if any that with her seemingly great taste in movies, the two of you could have set up a perfect Vday movie night (also, she’s fairly easy on the eyes…)
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